In the words of the famous poet, Timbaland, "It's been a long time, I shouldn'ta left you...without a dope beat to step to." Yes, it's been some time since I've been away and there's no big reason why other than life. I've been living it and boy have I been busy. Trust me, I don't think I have the market cornered on being busy, feeling stressed, and barely keeping up with the demands of everything/one around me.
In the three or four months since my last post, my senses have become heightened to all of the people around me that are stressed and overwhelmed. I hear people talk, I read facebook posts, I listen to my own inner voice and the constant message is loud and clear: How to keep up with the demands of raising a child, juggle a career, make time for yourself, and still be a good spouse/daughter/son/brother/grandchild...
I feel like it's what so many of us in the child raising stage of our life are going through.
And then, Rick and I went to the park with the girls this morning and I looked through the many shots I had captured...the images that so very well reflect this crazy, hectic stage of our lives and I thought to myself...
This is it. This is the good life. This is the best my life has ever been and why am I spending one second of it anxious, stressed, or overwhelmed. Every second I give to feelings of angst denies me a moment of gratitude and being present and aware of the life that's happening now.
On Friday, we had our first official visit since the twins have been accepted into the First Steps Program. The evaluator came and, as I kept the twins entertained in the playroom, asked Rick all kinds of questions about life and routines. Very seriously, like he was in a therapy session, I heard the evlauator tell Rick he was going to ask some very personal questions. I listened intently and heard him ask, "If you could change one thing about your life, what would you change?" Rick thought for a moment. I was waiting on pins and needles to hear what he was going to say.
"I wouldn't change anything," he answered.
He wouldn't change anything.
And neither would I.
We are in the best parts of our lives, and by we, I mean all of us...you included. We don't need to change anything. We just need to stop letting the stresses of life deprive us from truly appreciating and celebrating each other.
So, today when we were at the park and I was busy trying to get the girls to look this way or that way, trying to get them to smile or hug each other, I realized I should stop stressing about what I wanted them to do and just capture what was real.
And now to the purpose of every post...
Today, I saw God in wind-blown hair, flowers in the midst of fallen leaves, sisters tripping in the grass, a Daddy who uses any means necessary to transport his little little rascals, and a Mommy's heart that didn't hear any nagging whispers of things to do or prepare for.
Love,
Mary
