So, I only have about 5 minutes to write this because my precious twins are calling my name. When you have an epiphany, you gotta let the world know though, right?!
Brutally honest: I didn't know if I could stay at my current school for this year. For reasons I can't go into, I had been incredibly stressed and the pressure was a bit too much to handle. How do I know it was too much? Well, the first sign was when my mom called my family doctor to tell him about the mental breakdown I was about to have! After that awkward visit, I decided I needed a change. ha! I looked and looked and when an opportunity presented itself, I went for it. In the interview, I was asked about the most difficult thing I'd ever done. Do you know what I said? Taking a chance to leave a place that I had called home, colleagues that knew so much about me they were like family, the siblings of past students I couldn't wait to teach, the list goes on. I wasn't lying. I really was, in my mind, embarking on the bravest and riskiest thing I had ever done.
Well, I had it in the bag. Great recs from all the right people. Super test scores. A confident and not too nervous interview. Parents who were even going to bat for me.
Not on this day.
I was devastated to be perfectly honest. I didn't see how I could maintain my sanity in a situation that wasn't going to change. I was mad.
I was upset that God had made me feel like I should do something only to slam the door right in my face.
Have you ever experienced that? You're like, "Hello, God?! I thought you wanted me to do that!"
Well, apparently He didn't.
Today was the last day of school and I can't even begin to tell you how difficult this year was. Being pregnant with twins and trying to be the teacher you've always been isn't so easy. There were days I would teach a lesson and take breaks to put my head in the garbage can because I didn't think I'd make it to the bathroom. I could go on and on about the challenges, but if you've been reading my blog you already know.
BUT, as I look back on it, I know without a shadow of a doubt I couldn't have made it through this year anywhere else.
Not with another class.
Not with another team teacher.
Not with another group of colleagues.
How awesome was God's plan?! He knew I would need to be where I could have 2 student teachers to help me. He knew I would need to be where I had the support of my team teacher of 6 years (love you, Megan). He knew I would need to be where there were people supporting me and praying for me. He knew I would need to be where I would have a secret pal who sent me the most inspirational messages at just the right time.
Do you get it?!
I am in awe of how His plan, how every tedious detail of His plan, fit together like the pieces of a puzzle.
If one thing had been different, one thing...
As I drove home from school today, I was so incredibly thankful that I was driving home on such a familiar route, leaving familiar faces, and feeling support and encouragement. It felt good.
Thank you, God, for Your plans that are too intricately woven for me to ever figure out!
I am so thankful for my unanswered prayers and I hope you can see God's hand in yours.