Standing in front of the mirror. Not exactly happy with what I see. Maybe you can relate. If you can't, I am truly happy for you. It's not a great feeling.
Anywho, back to the mirror. I tell myself all the right things...
"You just had a baby."
"It took 9 months to gain this weight. You can't get rid of it overnight."
"Motherhood is beautiful."
FYI-None of it worked so I tried a more aggressive approach:
"You are gonna stand here, missy, until you like what you see."
Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.
20 minutes later I decide to leave the bathroom.
Why are women so critical of themselves...of each other? Why do we feel the need to pick, pick, pick? I hate that I do it to myself. I hate that I'm guilty of doing it to others. And I hate that others do it to me.
It's all a matter of conditioning, though. We've been conditioned to think a certain way, to feel a certain way. Take GG, for example.
Gabriella has had a large patch of red baby bumps for the past few months. Her pediatrician has told us it will go away. At first, when Gabriella became aware of her baby bumps, she was very self-conscious. She picked up on the cues that Rick and I thought there was something wrong with the bumps. We quickly realized our mistake and started confirming the beauty of the bumps. It wasn't long until Gabriella started to see the bumps as beautiful. You know what? She never even mentions them anymore. She doesn't even see them.
Back to the bathroom I go.
Do you know what I see?
a bajillion stretchmarks that make a circle shape around my tummy
a super black bellybutton
a tummy that actually (I kid you not) jiggles when I laugh
But this time when I go the bathroom and look in the mirror, I don't give myself a pep talk. Instead, I try and think about what these images that make me wince represent.
Life.
Two to be exact.
God gave me two very special gifts and blessed me with the physical capacity to carry them for 37 weeks and 5 days. It's taken me some time, but when I look at those stretchmarks, I smile. I smile because they're a reminder of a miracle...
Two.
I know I'll lose this baby weight eventually, but that's not the point. The point is once that issue is taken care of, I don't want another to slip in and take its place. Sometimes, women have a way of doing that. If it's not one thing, it's another.
So, I am vowing to look in the mirror and love what I see. I'm vowing this because I want to be an example for Gabriella, Marielle, and Genevieve.
I see God's wonderfully made craftsmanship when I look in the mirror. I hope you do, too.
Love,
Mary
Some pictures of my little stretchmark producers!!
Well, all except for Rick! hahaha! :)
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