Thank You, God, For Your Plans

So, I only have about 5 minutes to write this because my precious twins are calling my name.  When you have an epiphany, you gotta let the world know though, right?!

Brutally honest:  I didn't know if I could stay at my current school for this year.  For reasons I can't go into, I had been incredibly stressed and the pressure was a bit too much to handle.  How do I know it was too much?  Well, the first sign was when my mom called my family doctor to tell him about the mental breakdown I was about to have! After that awkward visit, I decided I needed a change. ha!  I looked and looked and when an opportunity presented itself, I went for it.  In the interview, I was asked about the most difficult thing I'd ever done.  Do you know what I said?  Taking a chance to leave a place that I had called home, colleagues that knew so much about me they were like family, the siblings of past students I couldn't wait to teach, the list goes on.  I wasn't lying.  I really was, in my mind, embarking on the bravest and riskiest thing I had ever done.

Well, I had it in the bag.  Great recs from all the right people.  Super test scores.  A confident and not too nervous interview.  Parents who were even going to bat for me.

But...

No job.

Nope.

Not on this day.

I was devastated to be perfectly honest.  I didn't see how I could maintain my sanity in a situation that wasn't going to change. I was mad.

I was upset that God had made me feel like I should do something only to slam the door right in my face.  

Have you ever experienced that?  You're like, "Hello, God?!  I thought you wanted me to do that!"

Well, apparently He didn't.

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Today was the last day of school and I can't even begin to tell you how difficult this year was.  Being pregnant with twins and trying to be the teacher you've always been isn't so easy.  There were days I would teach a lesson and take breaks to put my head in the garbage can because I didn't think I'd make it to the bathroom.  I could go on and on about the challenges, but if you've been reading my blog you already know.

BUT, as I look back on it, I know without a shadow of a doubt I couldn't have made it through this year anywhere else.  

Not with another class.  

Not with another team teacher.  

Not with another group of colleagues. 

How awesome was God's plan?!  He knew I would need to be where I could have 2 student teachers to help me.  He knew I would need to be where I had the support of my team teacher of 6 years (love you, Megan).  He knew I would need to be where there were people supporting me and praying for me.  He knew I would need to be where I would have a secret pal who sent me the most inspirational messages at just the right time.

Do you get it?!

He knew.

He knows.

I am in awe of how His plan, how every tedious detail of His plan, fit together like the pieces of a puzzle.  

If one thing had been different, one thing...

As I drove home from school today, I was so incredibly thankful that I was driving home on such a familiar route, leaving familiar faces, and feeling support and encouragement.  It felt good.

Thank you, God, for Your plans that are too intricately woven for me to ever figure out!  

I am so thankful for my unanswered prayers and I hope you can see God's hand in yours.

Love,

Mary