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Saturday, September 1, 2012

Who Am I?

Making an effort to be brutally honest this morning...

Yesterday, I went to the eye doctor for my bi-monthly check-up for my eyes.  As I was sitting in the waiting room, I was looking at the people around me.  There were two guys that looked like they had come from very difficult lives.  The group sitting next to me was made up of some characters:  two girls in their pajamas and 2 guys that, to me, looked like they'd had a loooong night of partying.  

I texted Rick and told him that the next time I wanted to go to this particular eye doctor, remind me not to.  Then, I texted him that everyone around me looked scary.

They did.

As I think about my texts now, the thing that disappoints me the most is that hidden somewhere inside me, I think my comments were fueled by a feeling that I was better than the people around me.

I can assure you that coming to a conclusion like that about yourself is quite disheartening.

Who am I?

If GG had ever come up to me and said, "Mommy, I don't want to sit by that man because he looks different," or, "Mommy, that man looks scary," or, even worse, "Mommy, I think I am better than her,"  I would be real swift to give her a lesson in compassion.  In fact, I would probably share with her how Jesus turned away no one, how God wants us to love everyone, and how in Matthew it says, "And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me."

Who am I to, if even for a moment, think more of myself and less of someone else?  
Not even our perfect God does that?  
God, who has every right, every reason, to look down on us and boast of His goodness does not.  
Do my judgements, expectations, or standards for the life around me get to be more strict than God's?

I don't know if you can relate, nor do I know if you really want to on this subject...

I can only pray that God will continue to be that voice inside me, convicting me when I'm wrong...

God...
Help me love.
Love everyone.
No matter what.
I see God in the love I have for most people, but I want to see Him in the love I have for all people.

Love, 
Mary





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