It is no secret that we still swaddle Gabriella. This is the way she has gone to bed every night since she was a baby. Her last new swaddle was actually bought when she was around 1 year old. It was the biggest size they made. As Gabriella has grown, her swaddle has slowly covered less and less of her. Now, she gets wrapped from about the waist down.
So vested in this routine, Gabriella even rates people on how they swaddle her. Daddy is the best. Sometimes, GG will say to me, "That's a good wrap, Mommy!" or, "You're not a good wrapper, Momma." I suppose I'm inconsistent.
I guess in the long term, Rick and I were hoping Gabriella would always be swaddled. Think about it...what high school girl that is still swaddled by her parents has any suitors calling?! Better yet, if we are still swaddling Gabriella when she's in college, all boys in a 10 mile radius will steer clear and Gabriella can be free to focus on her studies, not to mention get a good night's rest. What 18 year old in a dorm room doesn't need a good night's rest? Sure, she'll be a little weird, slightly peculiar...but such a small price for her to pay to stay a little girl in our eyes.
Well, Gabriella is almost 3 and with no foreseeable hitch in our plan, things have been smooth sailing on the swaddle front. Until last night...
Not wanting to go to bed is not uncommon for a child GG's age, but last night she was practically fighting us. She is not a child who throws temper tantrums (yet!), so I knew there was more to the story than usual. After a series of questions, in a half-hearted, I-know-this-couldn't-possibly-be-it tone, I asked Gabriella, "Do you want a blanket instead of your swaddle?"
Grinning from ear to ear, Gabriella practically ran to her crib. She has never been more excited to go to bed. Ever. I found a special blanket that a family friend made that covered her from head to toe. GG kept saying how soft it was and when I turned off the light, she was still smiling.
So, there you have it.
Last night...
For the first time...
Gabriella didn't want to be swaddled.
Dagger to the heart.
Do you remember the first time you realized that your child wasn't a baby anymore? I know that as your children grow, you have those realizations more frequently, but do you remember the very first time?
For me, I came to that realization last night. For the past three years, I have never seen Gabriella as anything more than the precious baby we brought home on November 25th, 2009. Sure, I notice how she's growing, how she's changing, how she's becoming more independent. But never have I seen her the way I saw her last night...
as a child who is growing up.
If I think about it, the root of my problem isn't the idea that GG is growing up.
It's the idea that in order to grow up, time has passed.
I don't know if you've noticed, but I write about time a lot. Maybe it's because I realize it's value.
Life is not renewable. Time is not forever.
As evidenced last night, time is passing. Apparently, my girls are growing up.
I don't claim to know the ins and outs of my faith. It's not my intent to lead a bible study or seem like I'm being "preachy", but I would like to share a prayer with you. Maybe something you might like to pray...
God,
Please help me to be present in each moment of this day. Help me to be aware of its value. Help me to see You in ways I never thought possible.
Amen.
Maybe, just maybe, you can spend today with your time-sense heightened, realizing the significance and value of each minute.
In an effort to not waste your time, I need to bring this super long post to a conclusion! ha! Everyone in my house is starting to rise and I can't miss out on our day together. I am already aware. I hope you are, too.
Love,
Mary
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