I've been trying to think of a metaphor for having twins, or motherhood in general. As I approach the 33 week mark, my anticipation and anxiety have been through the roof and the thought that my life is about to change dramatically...forever...kind of freaks me out.
Hmmm....
The best I can equate it to is a roller coaster. If you've ever been on a roller coaster, then you know the infamous first hill. No good coaster ever starts any other way. Actually, according to physics, I don't even think it's possible. Anywho, when you start the ascent up that very first hill (which is more like a mountain because it's so high in the air) you just barely creep along. With every creak of the track you question your sanity for getting on the ride in the first place, you look down below to see everyone looking at you to gauge your reaction, you hold on then let go then squirm around trying to find the best position for the ride, you think, and think, and think...
I mean, you have plenty of time for it because that first hill is so super duper, it takes forever.
For me, that first hill has been my pregnancy. For the past 32 1/2 weeks, time has crept by. It's no secret (because I've shared before) how difficult this time has been.
Emotionally, physically...
This pregnancy has been such a teacher. I've learned how much pain and discomfort I can endure and still work full time. I've learned that a high-risk doctor appointment isn't the $150 p/appointment that I thought, but oh around $500-700! I've learned that a 2 year old does not care how tired or big you are when she wants to have a tea party or dance or (my personal favorite) do push-ups. I've learned that sometimes the person who gives you the most support is the person you snap at first.
Yes, you see, this first hill has been long and tumultuous.
But...
If you know me at all, you know I can't stop with just the hill.
There's the part you waited in line for...
The part you've been anticipating...
the actual descent down the hill and, after that, the curves and twists and loops...
the ride.
It's the part when you don't know if you should hang on or let go. It's the part that makes you scream and cry and laugh. It's the part that is out of control. It's the part that is scary and unpredictable.
It's the part that makes the hill and the waiting worth it.
Since Marielle and Genevieve could arrive at any moment, I currently find myself near the peak of the hill. I'm so ready to see what's on the other side. Am I scared? Of course! But, I've got Rick to hold onto when the ride is too rough. And I know when things are going to be okay (but I'm worried anyways), he'll push my arms in the air and tell me to enjoy it. I know I'm going to cry out of frustration, but I'm going to cry out of joy, too. I'm going to feel like there are times when I might fall out, but I won't. The support around me is too tight. I know that sometimes I'll see the loops coming and have time to brace myself. Other times, I won't. I'll let out an extra yell, then!
Here's the important part, when the ride is over, I'll look back at that hill and think, that was it. That's all I had to do for so much fun and excitement. That hill will seem so insignificant, a small price to pay for such a good ride. And when I look at the crazy photo that was taken on my way down that first hill, Rick will be beside me, and GG will be right there hanging on for dear life in the back (yes, she met all height restrictions).
*********************************
Since I'm just about at the top of the hill, I'm thinking my next post will have to wait until the ride has begun! Can't wait to share those first few days of the ride with you. :)
Hmmm....
The best I can equate it to is a roller coaster. If you've ever been on a roller coaster, then you know the infamous first hill. No good coaster ever starts any other way. Actually, according to physics, I don't even think it's possible. Anywho, when you start the ascent up that very first hill (which is more like a mountain because it's so high in the air) you just barely creep along. With every creak of the track you question your sanity for getting on the ride in the first place, you look down below to see everyone looking at you to gauge your reaction, you hold on then let go then squirm around trying to find the best position for the ride, you think, and think, and think...
I mean, you have plenty of time for it because that first hill is so super duper, it takes forever.
For me, that first hill has been my pregnancy. For the past 32 1/2 weeks, time has crept by. It's no secret (because I've shared before) how difficult this time has been.
Emotionally, physically...
This pregnancy has been such a teacher. I've learned how much pain and discomfort I can endure and still work full time. I've learned that a high-risk doctor appointment isn't the $150 p/appointment that I thought, but oh around $500-700! I've learned that a 2 year old does not care how tired or big you are when she wants to have a tea party or dance or (my personal favorite) do push-ups. I've learned that sometimes the person who gives you the most support is the person you snap at first.
Yes, you see, this first hill has been long and tumultuous.
But...
If you know me at all, you know I can't stop with just the hill.
There's the part you waited in line for...
The part you've been anticipating...
the actual descent down the hill and, after that, the curves and twists and loops...
the ride.
It's the part when you don't know if you should hang on or let go. It's the part that makes you scream and cry and laugh. It's the part that is out of control. It's the part that is scary and unpredictable.
It's the part that makes the hill and the waiting worth it.
Since Marielle and Genevieve could arrive at any moment, I currently find myself near the peak of the hill. I'm so ready to see what's on the other side. Am I scared? Of course! But, I've got Rick to hold onto when the ride is too rough. And I know when things are going to be okay (but I'm worried anyways), he'll push my arms in the air and tell me to enjoy it. I know I'm going to cry out of frustration, but I'm going to cry out of joy, too. I'm going to feel like there are times when I might fall out, but I won't. The support around me is too tight. I know that sometimes I'll see the loops coming and have time to brace myself. Other times, I won't. I'll let out an extra yell, then!
Here's the important part, when the ride is over, I'll look back at that hill and think, that was it. That's all I had to do for so much fun and excitement. That hill will seem so insignificant, a small price to pay for such a good ride. And when I look at the crazy photo that was taken on my way down that first hill, Rick will be beside me, and GG will be right there hanging on for dear life in the back (yes, she met all height restrictions).
*********************************
Since I'm just about at the top of the hill, I'm thinking my next post will have to wait until the ride has begun! Can't wait to share those first few days of the ride with you. :)
As I start the ride of my life, I'm going to see God, feel God, hear God. At least, I hope! Don't leave me hangin' now, God! hehehe :)
Love,
Mary
No comments:
Post a Comment