Because of Me

The greatest role...

The greatest responsibility...

The most significant contribution I hope to ever make to life is that any greatness I possess, however small, will be passed on and carried out through the lives of my children.

Maybe I take it too seriously.

Maybe I contemplate it too much.

Maybe I come across as being over-the-top or too cautious.

When I had Gabriella, I lacked that natural maternal instinct that seems to come so naturally to other moms.  I didn't have a gut feeling of how to help her when she cried.  I watched others around me and took cues from Rick to learn what to do and when to do it.  Slowly, I started to get the hang of it.  Maybe I was putting too much pressure on myself.  I lightened up and realized I didn't need to know everything...

just enough to make it through another day.  

I look back on those days and, although I don't know a whole lot more, I feel so much more confident in my not knowing...

if that makes any sense at all...

The one thing I have found is that being a mom, a good mom, doesn't just happen.

It takes dedication.

It takes stamina.

It takes patience.

It takes endurance.

It takes sacrifice.

It takes love.

 And please forgive me because I can't find a more appropriate word...

It takes balls.  

(see, I told you it was inappropriate!!)

Sometimes, you have to say things and do things that might hurt other people's feelings, because it's what's in the best interest of your children.

I have never taken on a responsibility of such magnitude in my life.  Who they are and who they become is a reflection of what Rick and I do now. 

We've been entrusted.

Six big, impressionable eyeballs are looking to us to guide their paths.

I'm not crazy enough to think that any job I do will ever be good enough.

I'm not naive enough to think that we won't have lots of issues along the way.

The one thing I do know is that I'm going to pray each night for the strength to be the very best mom I can be.  After all, I've got three little girls counting on me to get it right...

The thought occurred to me; some people become who they are because of their parents.  Some people become who the are despite them.

The reason I take it so seriously...

The reason I contemplate it so much...

The reason I may come across as over-the-top or too cautious...

I want my girls to be something great because of me.

and Rick, too! (I just use I a lot b/c it's my blog, not his!) ha!

Love,

Mary

Funny thing...ran across these pictures.  I've looked at pics of the twins and GG almost 100 times and I never glanced at these twice.  They didn't stand out for some reason.  Today, they did.  It's the vulnerability.  In the twins' tangled hands and feet...

In GG's expression as she holds onto Rick's finger.

Both pictures were taken within a week of each birth.  :)

And by the way...

It's in these pictures that I see God.